People-pleasing is something most people struggle in their lives, it’s a human trait we all share.
We are social creatures and want to be liked by everyone, which is not only impossible, but is also a terrible idea.
If you are actually liked by each and everyone and without enemies, dude, you are definitely in the wrong path.
Becoming unapologetic is a journey.
So what does it take to become this version of yourself?
And How much?
As I reflect on my recent past, the images that surface are of the negatives and the positives that have taken place.
However, we often dwell on the negative as it tends to replay itself over and over again. Which leads us towards making our own selves difficult, overthinkers and non-believers.
We develop a habit of liking not to like anything or anybody !
How about this go-round we dwell on the positive!
Instead of making resolutions we change our mindsets, step out on faith, and put ourselves first.
Yes, this year or, rather this past decade there have truly been some ups and downs. But the one thing from it all is how much I’ve and you have grown.
We’ve grown and out-grown in so many ways.
This past decade my beautiful baby girl has grown into a stunning young woman, making me an empty nester.
Also, I have become a second time mother of a hyper-active super talkative baby girl whose soul mission in life seems to be driving me crazy !
Particularly, this year, I have stepped out and made friends and started this blog.
This brings me to the biggest positive of all and that’s becoming who I am.
Embracing my strengths and weaknesses and loving me.
For so long I’ve been something to someone else and truly having that reflection and focusing on my needs and one who wants to bring a new perspective into my life.
This new revelation has truly allowed me the opportunity to embrace my 40s like a boss!
Now, don’t get me wrong.
There have been some rough times however. Those moments have given me strength, allowed me the opportunity to see others for whom they really are, and most importantly has allowed me to find out who I am!
Love your life despite the road bumps.
Take each failure as a lesson and be happy that you’ve grown each and every day.
Realize that although people will try and tear you down, your happiness is the BIGGEST revenge.
Life can be seriously hard but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy. You can be happy, unapologetically YOU… despite anything and anyone bringing you down.
That’s a work in progress with more focus on putting me (you) first! So do yourself a favour during this time of reflection, hold on to the positive because you’ve made it thus far!
With this having hit me, I would like to say something to myself..
Dear Self,
It’s all about Today now. Today I will grab my own happiness,
be my own boss, and be out of any guilt of whatever I am today.
I have lived many roles.. and I will add another role today..
“BE just ME” .. and whatever it takes to be that.
I will not judge or grade myself to society’s expectations. I will look forward to find a new lane to live, love and exist… In a way I haven’t before.
Today… is the first day of my new ME. This is definitely not becoming a new person at all.
On the contrary, I will just focus on HOW to OWN the REAL ME.
The ME … who got lost somewhere .. under compromises… under responsibilities…
The ME… who lost connection with her own self in the past decade..
Without any apology, I will focus in owning my real ME. ..
Without any mask to cover anything of Who I really AM.
I have struggled a lot to become this version of me. It took a lot of inspiration, motivation and lots of tears… lots of heartbreaks.. lots of damage… I decided not to take the daggers out.. I have let them stay on.. on my back and become the wild one under this nice pack in the front..
I have learnt the rules of the game.. and decided to PLAY back !..
Game for game…
Ignorance for ignorance..
Distance for distance…
Friendship for friendship…
Love for love…
I don’t need you.. yes, I don’t… and if I have connected with you in spite of all odds, you must be special… but if you start being funny… I promise to show a very unpleasant funnier side … very much without mercy and without an apology.
Life itself is a reflection. We don’t get what we want.. .. we get what we are.
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.
I have learnt to be in my skin.
It’s all about being comfortable in my own skin.
I might not be sassy, pushy.. or impudent....
I am not that and can never be.. But that does not stop me from voicing out what I intend to.
I roam about in pyjamas and a Tee… but I am open minded and caring.
I’m not a rocket scientist, but I shake the world in my own gentle way.
I’m not super skinny, but my body is strong.
I might not know everything, but I’m willing to learn.
I value serious conversations, but laugh my butt off at silly memes.
I laugh at my own clumsiness.
I love how my genuine smile is everything but picture perfect.
I accept my eczema spots and my gummy smile.
I think it’s hilarious how I sing like a bird (a dying one…. )
I’m content with the way I’m build and admire the way my body functions.
I’ve accepted the fact that I’m very sensitive and am afraid to fail.
I vowed to myself that I would never photoshop my cellulite or other ‘imperfections’ out of my pictures.
Real is so much better, in my opinion. And that’s something I value a lot in life: realness.
I have realized that I will lose much of the people/ friend in this unbecoming and becoming process… But I guess I have chosen this path consciously. I also have no regrets.
So,
Stay focused on walking in your purpose and most importantly don’t be afraid to put yourself first! Because when you truly love yourself and put your needs first you become an unstoppable woman and an even better spouse, mother, daughter, sister, friend, etc..
With all this reflection I’m definitely not making any resolutions for any purpose whatsoever!
I’m stepping into this New Me…. …UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME …and I encourage you to do the same.
Those with a grateful mindset tend to see the message in the mess. And even though life may knock them down.
The grateful find reasons, ..
if even small ones, to get up.
I have realised I do not have to choose between being gentle or being fierce.. both exists in nature and both exists in me..
I have learnt to nourish them both, and when applicable,
use each, unapologetically.
So.. I guess it is a good idea to stop living within the confines of how others define you or Me...
You weren’t created to live their life, you were created to live yours, so live it.
Be unapologetically you.
And to make this decision, is an act of self-love. Something that I think is so very important. To accept yourself and to be who you are, without any masks.
I won’t deny it.
I am also not afraid of the horrible thoughts people will have and the mean things they will say.
But it’s (how ironic) a step forward in being unapologetically myself.
So there I go.
‘Publish’.